Series:1-1 "Trick...you NEVER was..."

Everyone...ssssssslide your WHITE gloves ON cause it's TEA TIME...DING!

Trick you NEVER was...MY FRIEND!

You know the game is only dirty if the players who are playing the game is DIRTY!

I swear at times I think I'm the LAST of the Mohicans when it comes to being a TRUE friend and being down with someone whom I call a friend like four flat tires!

So, I had a "friend" who I referred to as a "Good Judy" and they referred to me as their "bestie" and over the course of our friendship as any relationship there where disagreements etc but never to the point of betrayal...so I thought!

Now let it be known, accepted and disgusted, in the "life" , size does not equate to "security" or "insecurity" for that matter!

Now here I am, what's considered to be a "plus size man" (sounds gay...HOW U DOWIN?!?!) and my so-called friend name Zodiac is considered to be "fit and trim" and according to the "terms and agreements" of being in the LIFE Zodiac is suppose to be "secure" then I Tru Sinceer is suppose to be "insecure"...but as time went it on clearly we find it was the furthest from the truth on both ends!

Instead Zodiac was a hateful bastard underneath layers of scar tissue that masked to the naked eye by a pretty face but Zodiac's spirit was as dark as the hour before dawn! Zodiac was MORE insecure and tainted than a recluse obese person driving an all glass SMART CAR in the middle of a PRIDE parade while everyone points and stares!

Tru Sinceer on the other hand is a happy go lucky, secure person (sn: certainly I have my insecurities as well ALL do, but I control them vs. vice versa) and never felt the need of competition between Zodiac and I or anyone else for that matter but that's not the way my former Good Ju-Ju Zodiac saw it!

This hateful wench wanted everything I had and then some...and wouldn't stop at nothing to obtain it...

Here's the penis that popped the cherry...

I, Tru Sinceer made new friends with a cute, younger gentleman by the name of Remy! Although Remy and I were mad cool there was not ever any TEA between us...not EVER! Remy was just someone I found intriguing enough to allow in my inner circle and my world! As time progressed Remy and I always hung out (although I think for a moment Remy got it twisted too) and it eventually led to Zodiac & Remy meeting thru me one evening when we partied it up.

For whatever reason, Zodiac was constantly shading Remy, but Remy on the other hand wanted Zodiac like a crackhead yearns for their next hit! I kind of noticed they wouldn't really interact in front of me and sort of questioned it but just ruled it out as nothing but every time I walked away and/or they thought I was gone they would proceed with conversation in each others ear and even at one point were grinding on each other and stopped immediately whe they saw me coming and looked as if they seen a ghost... they separated like they just got caught doing something wrong...but me being that happy-go-lucky person wasn't paying the shade no attention because there wasn't anything between Remy and I for me to feel some kind of way...but come to find out that's NOT what Zodiac thought! You see at this point Zodiac knew of Remy from Zodiac and I conversating and Remy being in my presence but never MET Remy until this particualr night.

This hateful man whore, thought Remy and I were "kicking it"...and being the jealous, hateful, messy, insecure, vaseline valley whore Zodiac is he was trying to get what he "assumed" I had...Remy!

As the hour drew nigh I was ready to leave and get home to my warm bed but kind of noticed Remy was still enjoying himself. So in lieu of being the party-pooper I asked Zodiac if Remy and his friend can catch a ride by him and Zodiac response was "Hell naw, I don't know them like that!" so I was a little taken aback by Zodiac's response considering their interaction I observed between them two but on the other hand respected Zodiac's decision and can't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do! So I decided to stick around for the last hour and wait on everyone to get their jollies out until the club closed!

Fast forward an hour, the club closes and lets out, I get in my truck and pull up in the front to scoop Remy. Remy sssstrolls up to my window and says "Hey, I'm catching a ride with Zodiac." Now I'm sitting there looking crazy and honestly a little PISSED because I could've left an hour ago but it wasn't Remy's fault...so I said "OK!" and drove off!

The very next day, Remy and I met up at business meeting and the entire time he's texting and texting and texting! So I asked who has your attention? Remy replies with a slight grin"oh, no one!"

About an hour later as the meeting wrapped Remy asked if I could take HIM by MY "FRIENDS" house cause they where going out to get something to eat...which wasn't cool, because no one (no even REMY who's asking me to drop him off) had the common courtesy to extend and invite to me...needless to say I was pissed!

As the world turns some people will friend out how small the world is!

An unknown 3rd party is mutual friends with Remy AND a REAL friend of mine and knew of me but not to the point were we conversed but cared enough to communicate a conversation he witnessed between Zodiac & Remy!

Come to find out Zodiac & Remy were "having" the ENTIRE TIME and called themselves keeping it from me because they thought I was in LOVE with REMY...WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

1) THE KIDS ARE MESSY!!! The KIDS take kindness for a weakness (especially from a larger male), I have NEVER been desperate for a date NOR have I ever "charmed" anyone into liking me...NOT my style player, so move your late asses AROUND! Provided I was it SHOLL wouldn't be anyone of the likes of REMY!!!!!!!!

2) Even if I was feeling REMY like that, as Zodiac's "BESTIE" why would you try to sneak behind my back for a piece? That's some STRAIGHT BITCHASSNESS right there and most of all showed yourself NOT to be a friend...THANKS FOR THE MEMO HOE!

3) Scratch a LIE and find a thief! And furthermore if you lie you STEAL...

Some things are all about and based on PRINCIPAL!!

Although Remy and I weren't "kicking it" but Zodiac THOUGHT we were AND was still willing to "hook-up" and sneak around shows me who you are!

As Maya Aneglou says "When people show you WHO they are...BELIEVE THEM!!"

Therefore, I'm a believer and TRICK...you NEVER was MY FRIEND!

Until Next Time,
Tru Sinceer

11 Months & 3 Days...

Good Morning World!

It's been 11 months & 3 days since I last posted a blog message!

So much has transpired over this time and LAWD knows I can't get it all in, with this ONE blog, therefore I will be creating a new series of blogs to come!

Where have I been you asked?

I've been everywhere from the backseat of a car to the altar and everywhere else in between! LOL

Life has been grand, exciting and renewing over the course of these past 11 months...

Shout out to all the friends and family that have been holding me down...shout out to all the enemies who've showed their hand...shout out to all those on the break of elimination...and shout out to all those who are a combination of many facets of who I just shouted out!

Stay tuned...the eventful tales you're seeking and your month is watering for are soon to come!

Until next time,
Tru Sinceer

30's...

Making it to your 30's in age is such a pivotal point in life in my opinion!

Your 30's is what I like to call your "Ah ha..." decade because you begin to realize who you are... your own person!

You begin to become MORE cognizant of what you like and don't like, what you will tolerate and what you will NOT tolerate, who to love and who NOT to love, who to trust and who NOT to trust, and who to be and who NOT to be...just a plethora of "Ah ha..." moments reveal themselves to you in your 30's if and only if your paying attention and open to be taught.

It's not to say you may not be wise beyond your years and/or learned valued lessons in prior or latter years but I'm finding for myself that in my 30's a lot of things begin to make sense and gel together for my good.

I've learned in my 30's situations, people, places and things only have power or authority over me only if I allow them too!

Therefore being in the "know" or what I like to call having an "Ah ha..." moment of my authority I learned not too give my power away easily if at all as I may have done in the past.

There is certainly something to be said when you can take notice of your own growth let a lone the people around you.

Although "Ah ha..." moments aren't restricted to a specific age or time it just appears for me and other people I converse with that the 30's is either where or becomes a decade of reflection, growth and empowerment!

What's MORE beautiful then coming into your own existence, being comfortable and secure in who you are?

The 30's for me is the decade of security and confidence in the person I see in the mirror every waking morning!

Until Next Time,
Tru Sinceer

I've decided...

I've decided to keep looking forward and no longer driving forward looking thru my rear-view mirror!

Not that I have forgotten or will forget the pitfalls, intentional afflicted wrong done to me or scars I bare but I choose to become successful by creating a firm foundation from the bricks that have been thrown at me!

I've decided although I've been robbed of my innocence, robbed of my securities, robbed of my direction, robbed of my hope, robbed of my aspirations...I was never robbed of my continued ability to dream and the ability of application!

I've decided from this moment forward that whatever enters into my heart, mind and dreams that I dare to dream that I can apply myself and manifest it into my reality~

I've decided who in the fuck do you think you are and/or where to rob me naked?

You robbed in such a way legal justice could never be served...in my favor!

So I've decided not to follow-up on pressing charges because "karma justice" is one form of justice that's issued with a "life-sentence" with no probation...as long as you never right your wrong!

You see I decided that regardless of how you planned AND executed my demise you will NEVER win simply because I've decided NOT to let you win...

You're nothing more then some pollutant shit who lingered in MY air because I never had the courage to flush you out of my system...but I've decided your black cloud has hung over me long enough!

I've decided to embrace the pain vs. running from it...again time certainly heals all wounds...

I've also decided that it's all in what you do...

Therefore, I've decided you need to know it's not that you "walked" away but HOW you walked away~

I believe you would've loved nothing more for me to fail and come crawling back looking to you as you where my God...but your not my God so to you I will NEVER bow...

Although I'm half of your DNA...I feel the complete opposite and was made to live out an episode of the Maury show and constantly hear your mistress say too me "He is NOT your Father!"...not directly of course but VERY indirectly!

I've decided this is what has been eating away at my core and it's time I release these toxins...

So while you've decided to live your life as if I don't exist I've decided to acknowledge you and smile so you know that I DECIDED you don't have any reign over me!

That's what I've decided...

Until Next Time,
Tru Sinceer

Night Recap...

Good Morning All,

Last night I had a wonderful and refreshing evening with a couple of friends.

We had dinner at "J. Alexander's"...although my cocktail was a little WEAK the meal and the evening wasn't.

One of my good friends is home for two weeks. He's four months into his six month deployment and his ship returned for a short spell so we decided to do dinner and have a relaxing evening to catch up!

The most HILARIOUS thing about my friend is seeing him laugh...lol...MOST people have a boisterous laugh when they laugh but not him. My friend will give you a SLIGHT chuckle and then the next thing you know he's crying on you...WTH?!?!?!? lol....in lieu of a loud laugh he cries ...lol...it's so funny!!

My other friend is the complete opposite...she's BOISTEROUS with her laugh and it's so contagious too, she bust out in a laugh and the next thing you know you're laughing and may NOT know what you're laughing at but it all good!

It's such a blessing to be in and around GOOD people and GOOD company...these days those type of people are hard to come by!

I'm at work T-I-RED and ready to take a nap because I stayed out TTTTOOOOO late last night but I'm HERE at work and accounted for...so that's something to be said because I sssooo wanted to "call-in" but I pressed my way and came on in to work!!

I wish you all the BEST, hope you're enjoying your day, and maximizing the short time we have here on earth!

Until Next Time,
Tru Sinceer

This Space...

Hello blogger's and readers alike!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is one my frustrated and complicated mind war days because of this space I'm in and occupying!

I'm in a space I don't want to be in...I do not like my distant but yet close enough surroundings and feel like there is something that has me bound from really walking out on faith and walking away from it all and starting a new!!

But the weird part of it all in my frustration I YET have this HUGE level of optimism that at the end of the day everything is going to turn out alright and I'll be abundantly blessed and reap my harvest...

I guess it's between the "now" and the "pending" where I'm trying to find my space just to catch my breathe too inhale and exhale in a normal rhythm vs. in an inconsistent pattern and not knowing when it's going to slow down or speed up again beyond my control...

I pray hard, write more, and listen twice as much then I EVER have...maybe that's it....maybe because I'm becoming more cognizant of my surroundings and positioning...this space and realizing it's not where I want to be and/or end up!

Life certainly doesn't come with a map and it's hard as hell to recover when you gone off road into desolated terrain but what doesn't kill you certainly makes you stronger!

I'm determined to figure things out for the good, bad and in between to elevate myself from this space!

Until Next Time,
Tru Sinceer

My Peoples...

My peoples when are we going to rise above what we can't see?

My peoples how many more senseless deaths of brutality?

My peoples how many more times are we going to kick each other while we're already down?

My peoples stopping blaming everyone but ourselves for holding you down...

My peoples learn "when" and "when NOT too"...

My peoples adapt the reality that it's not all about you but about us, them AND you...

Embrace the diversity and see its beauty my peoples

My peoples agree to disagree respectfully, lovingly and peacefully

My peoples, my peoples...WAKE UP!

Until Next Time,
Tru Sinceer